This is not a debate on what method of feeding your baby is best. All parenting decisions are deeply rooted with intense emotions and your decisions all come back to personal experiences and preferences, making this topic (along with the topics of sleep and vaccines) very controversial in the parenting world! [Please note: This is my experience, how I do things and not necessarily the “right” way to do things!] As I’ve muddled my way through formula feeding my babies I have found a few things that make life easier which I have pretty much answered in the questions below. With my first baby I was guilt ridden, I felt like everyone was judging me over my decision to feed my baby formula. Really, I had nothing to feel guilty about – I had tried to breastfeed, I persevered for around two months, I tried syringe feeding, finger feeding, nipple shields – you name it, I tried it but when it came down to it, it just wasn’t for me – I was a much better mum once I changed over to formula feeding! With my second baby I tried to be strong and straight up about my plans, when the hospital midwives came in to help me with getting her to latch to the breast soon after birth I straight up told them that they could help, but as soon as I got home she would be going on to formula. From that moment on, I felt like I didn’t get checked on as often and decided to discharge myself the next day. The early newborn days with Ruby were completely different to those with Paige – I spent the days gazing at my beautiful baby (whilst wrangling a toddler) happily feeding her bottles, chatting to her, cuddling her and overall just having a lovely nice experience forming bonds with my new baby which is something I look back and feel was compromised with Paige due to the fact that I was dreading each feed. Fast track to now and my decision to formula feed the twins. I told my midwife from day one that I am a bottle feeding mum and it was written in my notes, so straight after birth the twins were given a bottle and we were shown where all the bottle feeding supplies were at the hospital for during our stay there. I found everyone really supportive and I felt no guilt what so ever. It has been 5 years since I was feeding my babies and things have changed or I’ve forgotten and I found that when it came to finding out information it was rather tricky to find. Don’t get me wrong, I understand all about the ‘baby friendly initiative’ and the reasons why this is in place, but I also think that once you have made an informed decision to formula feed there should be somewhere you can go to get some information or advice and you shouldn’t have to keep explaining yourself, giving reason for your decision. For info on the baby friendly initiative: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK153464/ You can’t even go on to the nurture formula website without having to click that you understand that breast is best and that you have talked to a health professional regarding your decision to formula feed. While in hospital we had to sign to say that we were artificially feeding our babies and that we understood breastfeeding was the best option. The Formula itself is kept in a locked cabinet in a completely different room to the bottle feeding supplies and has all forms of branding removed so the hospital is not seen to be favouring a certain kind. Being a multiple club member I can order formula in bulk from the supplier but in order to do this I need, not only proof of my membership and also a letter from a health professional stating that I have made an informed decision to formula feed. This doesn’t really seem right to me, once you have made a decision which isn’t an easy one to begin with, you then have all these ‘road blocks’ in place, if this doesn’t start to make a mother feel guilty about her decision you then get all the assumptions from people that you are of course, breast feeding. I would love to see a change in the way we all think – can it not just be called infant feeding? Why breast feeding or formula feeding or as they call it in the hospital - artificially feeding! Stop with the assumptions, the judgments, the guilt trips! Let’s be accepting, understanding and kind! Questions and Answers:What supplies do I need/are useful to have for bottle-feeding?
If you choose to formula feed right from birth, how many mls would you offer your baby? The twins were the first babies of mine that were fed formula right from birth. We offered them 20mls each as soon as they had been checked over. They slowly took that amount over a period of time... it was slow going haha! By a week old my babies were taking 50mls, and now at 3-4weeks old they are taking 75-100mls. How do I choose a formula? In New Zealand, infant formula manufacture is governed by Food Standards Australia and New Zealand (FSANZ) so you cant really go wrong when it comes to making your decision – one brand is not superior to another. Different formula may suit different babies and parents. I haven’t had to go down the route of trying different types – (goats milk formula, Hydrolysed formula, Lactose free infant formula, Reflux infant formula, Allergy and soy formula or Extensively Hydrolysed Formula) but they are out there, and there is always a different option to try should a standard formula not suit your baby. Is the most expensive formula the best? Again due to the strict standards price has no bearing on whether a formula is the best. All formulas must meet the same regulations to be sold in NZ and will be a good choice if breast milk is not an option. Choose a formula that fits your budget. Is Gold formula better than standard? Once again due to the strict standards Gold formula is not necessarily going to be better for your baby than standard. Standard formula contains all the nutrients in the amounts that the infant formula regulations specify. Gold formula contains extra ingredients that the regulations state MAY be added. Therefore, gold formula will be nutritionally complete and balanced and may provide additional benefits. How can I come to terms with my guilt around formula feeding? Firstly why are you feeling guilty? Is it due to what others are thinking/feeling? Is it due to the fact that “breast is best”? Whatever the reason behind your guilt, you do not need to be feeling this way!! My experience is I felt so guilty not being able to breastfeed my first baby, I didn’t want her to miss out so I persevered for around 2 months hating every minute, dreading hearing my baby cry because it meant I had to get a boob out again. With my 2nd baby I started her on formula as soon as I got home from the hospital… and I soon realised it was actually my first baby that missed out…. on having a happy mum! My second baby received the benefits of more cuddling, more talking, more LOVING. I didn't even realize with my first baby how much time and energy went into overcoming my difficulties breastfeeding, and not into cherishing all the first moments with her. I'll never know how much we both missed, and wish I had stopped sooner. Some women have an easy time breastfeeding. If you are not one of these women, don't beat yourself up. Let go of the mummy guilt’s because when mum is unhappy, everyone suffers! What’s the go with sterilising bottles etc? It’s recommended that you sterilize your bottles for the first 12months to kill any harmful germs that may be clinging to the surfaces of your bottles or bottle-feeding equipment. I personally become a bit slack on this once my children are moving around picking up things off the ground, sucking on toys, patting the dog etc. I have chosen to use a microwave steriliser as it means I can quickly wash bottles, chuck them in the sterilser with some 300ml of cold water and zap them in the microwave for 3minutes and they are done! You can also boil your bottles in a pot or use Milton tablets. If I choose not to breast feed, will my milk still come in? Yes, your milk will still come in around day 3. I couldn’t find any info on what to do to help in the situation when you don’t want to breastfeed. The biggest thing I found was not to stimulate the breast at all as you want to try eliminate milk being made. It is really quite uncomfortable, but just hang in there and it will only be about 4 days before your body gets the message that you aren’t using the milk and starts absorbing it. I wore 2 firm bras and then a tight shape wear singlet over top, which (sounds disgusting) I didn’t remove for about 4 days. You will find if you have a hot shower that your breasts will leak so I chose to have by back to the water flow or to take a bath instead. Cabbage leaves can help to soothe and I also used ice packs. I’m worried I wont have the same emotional attachment to my baby if I bottle feed, what’s your thoughts/experience on this? I believe that bottle-fed babies form the same attachments and bonds with their mother as breast-fed babies (they may even form stronger bonds with Dad, due to the fact that he can do some feeding as well). Holding your baby, comforting your baby, and feeding your baby when they are hungry is the foundation for establishing a strong emotional bond It is important to remember:
Not every mother is physically or emotionally able to breastfeed her baby. Lack of milk supply, latching issues, poor infant weight gain, depression, illness, adoption, surrogacy, and beyond are all possible reasons a mother may not breastfeed. For other mothers it’s a personal choice not to breast feed. You don’t know what a mother has been through in order to come to her decision on how to feed her baby and really, it doesn’t affect you – so BE KIND!
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